Things that make me go "hmmmmm"...

This past weekend I heard from a few of my friends that I am a wordsmith. Now, the way it was said wasn't a cut-down or tongue-in-cheek comment either, but something that seemingly meant with a large amount of belief of the truth behind the said comment. So, being the curious bitch I am I looked up the definitive definition of wordsmith. Seems the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online explains wordsmith as follows; a person who works with words; especially : a skillful writer. I got to say that I felt a lot flattered by this, but I think the praise is unwarranted. Yes, I have heard this drum beat being pounded out constantly over the same ole song my fan of one has been playing, but I figured love had way of rose tinting the truth to be something more than it really is in reality.
I was then told by a couple of people I barely know that I have a way with words. I know I am of no great intellect and so it makes me wonder has conversation between peers really fallen upon such hard times vocabulary-wise? Wouldn't it be a simple to just say that I am just above average with the words I spew forth. The fact is I know that isn't the case either because if I were such I wordsmith I would have held certain words inside and not let them fly. Words have a way of really wounding someone and how very tragic when they wound people you truly care about, and only come out as a glaring example of our weakness of character and by no means are born from a fault of the wounded. You really can't take words you say back. I have often said there is no point in defusing a bomb once it's gone off, and so words said when you are betraying not only who they are directed at but ourself can not be taken back.
I suppose the only thing a so-called wordsmith can do is try in his limited way to use those same words people say I work so well with to try and bring some peace to the affected if said in error. So to those that proclaim me wordsmith I do thank you for your praise, but in my definition of such a wordsmith would not let his human failings wound those he cares so very much for. I have said and written things that unlike the delusional who believe there are no such thing as regrets; I find myself regretting. My regrets are my demons in the wee early dark morning hours of sleeplessness and they are legion. So any who speak or write and might one day be called wordsmith; take this warning that the pain you cause by your words you work in will be visited back on your ten fold or at least has been the case with me. When I fall I am always standing on top of a mountain and sometimes my change has only come through the pain of my dearest hearts and for this I may be forgiven but shall never forgive myself. My debt I pay over and over again each night where sleep eludes me and gladly so, least I forget. Life is too short to hurt the ones you love with words you never truly meant because Hell truly is the absence of those you cared for so dearly only to lose because you yourself were for a moment lesser.